Y'all are filthy enablers. You know who you are.

[sageprincess]

the TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT ANIMUS meme

('cause we finally have alcohol)
In case you have somehow never ever looked at bakerstreet, how to play:
➤ Post with your character
➤ Either post with a TFLN or wait for someone
➤ Respond to people's texts or tag them with your own
➤ SHENANIGANS

Comments

[withak]

Okay, so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting.

Legolas | LotR

[bow_of_the_galadhrim]

Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.

[sonof_thrain]

You should look where you are going before falling onto people, Legolas. I thought elves could see in the dark.

[kindofademon]

I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?

[lightofhumanity]

I believe you were bringing someone up and they got a bit too rough with you when you were trying to have fun with them. I could be wrong though.

[puppy_lancer]

my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

[altitonant_emperor]

Lancer, why do you think I ever wanted to know this event occurred?

[technologic]

You sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked to your top drawer and threw socks everywhere singing "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

[alephbet]

In my defense, that was funny at the time.

[eternallily]

If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs

[starofpleiades]

If who wants what?

[scentofmakai]

I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare.

[no_longer_a_king]

(614):

i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need to get laid.

[fionnuisce]

I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.

[altitonant_emperor]

Why would you take your students' papers to the bar with you anyway.

Where was the backpack's last location in the bar when you left it last night?

[heavenscorpse]

Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

[slightlyoblivious]

I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?

[sageprincess]

I do not want to know the scientific reasoning behind why I have a harem.

Especially not from someone in the harem.

[puppy_lancer]

because you're a princess and everybody love them

[hystericull]

I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

[cullscuttlefish]

W)(at is it wit)( you and pants.

[faithstaynight]

I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

[canofworms]

Don't mention it. Are you okay? Do you need more ice?

[mustlovedogs]

You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys

[dusknoir]

How do you cause property damage with butter? I'm genuinely curious.

[geometry]

What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??

[hystericull]

why am i not surprised.

[alephbet]

So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside my dorm room. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?

[technologic]

Have you had premarital sex, though?

[grancenturio]

Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way too high to figure out they are just peaches.

[dusknoir]

That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.

[stalemates]

apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"

[withak]

I see no problem with this.

[morituramfides]

Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group.

[floreatnoctem]

But you're a natural.

[ghostytrainer]

FYI, rose and i made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. just thought you should know.

[cullscuttlefish]

Don't keep it in the ball pit! It needs water! 38(

[terreifying]

I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.

[cullscuttlefish]

We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

[floreatnoctem]

That's *adorable*. You sure you're not part Disney princess?

[bowandblade]

i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

[heavenscorpse]

Who did you mean to send this to? Everyone?