towerofjamjars | Drivers gonna drive! /o/

Drivers gonna drive! /o/

TEST DRIVE MEME

You want to join the game with a (new) character? Maybe you’re simply curious about the premise? Or maybe you just need a sample. Well that’s the meme for you to try and test your character as if they were already in the tower! The meme is open to anyone!

• Reply to this entry with a character you consider apping! Put your character’s name and fandom- Your usual meme thing.
• Comment around with your pups. You can also post and tag with characters already in-game of course!
• Most importantly, have fun!!
• ~~Then feel free to go and reserve and app your character.~~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's not your fault.

[Diarmuid runs his hand through his hair and turns from her, unable to take the pain in her eyes.]

I have learned since that day that another master was threatening your life even more than his and it was my failing that allowed you to fall into his hands in the first place.

[He had only meant to keep her safe, leaving her on the roof instead of allowing her to come into battle at his side. Why had it turned out so badly?]

I am the one who should be sorry.

[It is almost like she is at home again, looking at her Diarmuid after he has been scolded by his father. This would usually be a cue for her to rush forward and give him a hug, but she has to remind herself that this is a different Diarmuid.]

Even if you failed, Kayneth should not have forced such a death upon you.

[He should have trusted Diarmuid better, especially since this version was an actual knight.]

Therefore, as his wife, I will apologize in his stead.

[Diarmuid shakes his head.]

No, I cannot blame you and now that my pain and anger have begun to pass, I don't know if I can blame him either. Even though the Sola-Ui I knew didn't love him, he loved her a great deal. I...cannot really blame a man for choosing his love over someone he didn't trust and never wanted in the first place.

Diarmuid...

[Knowing the pain that he must have felt breaks her heart. Even though he says that it has begun to pass, she knows that it would not fade easily.]

I...I do not know what that other Sola-ui's opinion was in all of this. But even if Kayneth rejects you...and he would never trust you...

I'll give you all the trust and acceptance that he won't!

[Her declaration comes out loud and confident. After all, it was a vow she had made and held in her heart for years.]

['Diarmuid, Mama will give you all the love that Papa will never show.']

[Even if this was a promise made to a different Diarmuid, it is no less true than the one she made to her son. Perhaps, as a loyal knight, he deserves it even more.]

[He turns back to her finally, his expression soft and sad.]

Thank you. I appreciate your faith in me. My version of you, she did have faith in me, but I have reason to believe that it was forced.

[Diarmuid pauses and his hand goes up to rub the spot under his eye.]

I am cursed and I believe that curse was warping her mind. Thankfully, in this place, my curse is only sometimes active, but that doesn't fix the damage it did back then.

[Unconsciously, she raises a hand to touch his face, but draws it back when she notices it.]

My son...has the same spot. Kayneth always made him cover it. How severe...?

[She knows her son's Sorcery Trait is but a trait more fit for a third-rate magus. Something that can easily be blocked by a simple bandage.]

If your son's version of this curse can be so easily controlled then he is lucky. During my life we found no way to control or cancel it and many, many people human and divine looked for ways to do so.

[Diarmuid shakes his head, letting his hand drop again.]

In this place have I found respite from it, but even here that respite isn't total. The curse activates at random and stays active for a varying amount of time before going inactive again. At least here, should the woman wish it enough, the curse will fade, but that wasn't the case back then.

Magic resistance should be enough, would it not?

[She used her magic resistance to easily cancel out her son's Mystic Face whenever it went uncovered. Perhaps if she resisted strongly, it would do the same for this Diarmuid's face.]

And it must have been very hard for you. Both in life and as a summoned spirit.

[Very harsh indeed, without even a family to support him.]

If there's any way I can help, just let me know.

[She does her best to offer him a reassuring smile. Maybe it's motherly instincts or just compassion for a noble soul that has suffered too much, but she truly wants to help him the way she always helped her Diarmuid.]

One would think so, but it wasn't. Not in her case. Just as will can help someone break free of the curse, I suspect the want to fall--the desire to love--would work just as hard against resisting it.

[Diarmuid sighs and runs a hand through his hair.]

It was hard for me, but I would suspect even harder for those who were affected and their families. I had to hurt so many people that I would never have wanted to hurt. Some...some even died because of me.

[Killed themselves over what they could never have.]

I appreciate your support, but please, don't feel like you have to just because of what happened in my world. It was my world, not yours.

[She sighs.]

I'm not sure what she was thinking. But I definitely won't fall to your curse.

[After all, why would a mother feel any desire to be romantic with a man who is almost exactly like her son?]

We might be from separate worlds, but right now, we're in the same place. So, until we part again, let me help you.

She was sad, lonely, maybe even a little frightened. I can't imagine marrying someone so different from her was easy.

[Lancer shakes his head and then smiles at her.]

If you are willing to accept my help while you are here, then I will be willing to accept yours. We should all be working together anyway not fighting each other. Our real enemies are the administrators.

She could have learned. I did.

[And Kayneth...wasn't that bad. He did love her.]

The ones who transported us here, correct? I might not be as good of a magus as Kayneth is, but I can still make you some familiars to gather information on them.

Perhaps...if things hadn't ended as they did.

[Diarmuid shuts his eyes for a moment before opening them again and continuing.]

Yes, they are the ones who brought us here, but I'm afraid that it won't be so easy as sending familiars to spy on them. They guard themselves very well and if you cause too much trouble or get too close to something that they don't want you to know about, well death is probably the gentlest fate you could expect.

I understand. This sounds complicated. What's the current method for dealing with them?

[She wonders if, given all the people here, there is some sort of organized resistance.]

[Diarmuid laughs and the sound is quite bitter.]

Dealing with them? There is no dealing with them that I know of. Everyone who has tried has failed and a good many have been punished for trying. However, that doesn't mean they have stopped trying. There is a woman by the name of Zelda who I know has been working with people to try and do something about the administrators, though I haven't been able to talk to her directly yet.

[Somehow he doesn't think the words he exchanged with her during the experiment count.]

More importantly, there is a servant by the name of Ruler you should speak to. She has taken it upon herself to try and keep all of the masters and servants in the tower organized. She also offers protection to masters who don't have servants here to protect them. I know you are not from a world where there was a war, but you look like one of my masters and as such might find yourself in danger from the others who are from the same war as me. It would be best if you speak to her and let her know your situation as soon as possible.

I'll talk to both of them.

[Honestly, she's actually still unsure about this Master-Servant-Holy Grail business.]

Thank you, again, for telling me all this.

Of course, why wouldn't I? I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't tell you as much as I can about this place, though I am still new here and learning myself.

[He pauses a moment, face darkening.]

Has anyone told you about the experiments they run here?

Experiments?

[Her eyes go wide.]

What sort...

All kinds from what I have heard and they don't always hit everyone in the tower. For example, the month before I came here the tower was hit with a flu that made some people start seeing or hearing things. Others saw visions. Some just got sick enough that they died. It was very hard on them. And last month...

[He pause a moment, seeming to gather himself before continuing.]

Last month a good number of us thought that a significant amount of time had passed and despite our best efforts we were still all here. Some people only thought months had passed, others thought years had.

I thought I had been here over a thousand years myself...

It...changed a lot of people. Some managed to remain themselves. Others were hardly recognizable as the same people.

Oh.

[That indeed sounds horrifying. But what's horrifying is knowing that Diarmuid has gone through it.]

That must have been a horrible thing to experience.

[Again, she just wants to embrace him and tell him that everything will be alright now that she's here. She has to fight to remind herself that he is not her son.]

You didn't...deserve that.

[Diarmuid looks down and shakes his head.]

No one deserved it. We are all victims here, even those who weren't affected.by the experiment. They had to stand by and watch people they knew change and there was nothing they could do about it.

[He closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them again, they are distant and pained. His voice is also much softer, though he doesn't seem to notice.]

It's so easy to lose yourself in this place... With so much time passing, with so many failures... How is one suppose to not lose themselves? Is it even possible for someone's heart to remain strong after all of that?

[He falls silent then, lost to his own memories.]

How would you measure success, Diarmuid?

[Compared to her previous anguish, she sounds calm and confident now. If only because she is used to saying the same things to her son.]

Tell me, how do you decide what counts and success and what counts as failure, and among those things, which count as your failures?

Hmmm?

[He seems a little startled by her question having been so lost in his own thoughts, but after a moment he does answer her.]

It is my duty as a knight to protect those who are weaker than me and help those who are as strong if not stronger than I am. Any time I cannot fulfill that task, I have failed. Especially when I have promised them that I will succeed.

[Diarmuid thinks of Kariya then, and the lies he had told. He thinks of Mami as well, and how he hurt her.]

In all honesty, after that experiment I have no right to call myself a knight anymore...

[A quick tsk of the tongue.]

Diarmuid, you're a knight, but you're only a knight. You're trying to bear too many people's burdens. If you keep on going like this, you'll just collapse under the weight. I'm not saying you can't help people, but don't break yourself down while doing it.

[Diarmuid shakes his head at the tsk. He actually almost laughs because he can see her doing it to her son. Thing is, he's quite a bit different than her son.]

I appreciate your concern, but I am a very different being from your son. I don't need to eat or sleep any more than is required by the tower. I heal from injuries faster than a human would. I am faster and I'm stronger than most humans. I need to do this. I have to do it so that others who aren't as strong as me don't feel like they need to. It's my duty.

Drivers gonna drive! /o/

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