All right. The letter was too ridiculous to be believable, so Ganon's first order of business when he can actually move is to twist it up and rip it into small pieces. The second is to recover all his gear and clothes and check how much water he has with him.

And now he's storming out of his room in barely contained fury. Who thinks of a sick joke like this?

Oh, right. Link.

When he finds that insane forest-obsessed weirdo...